Red Journal Poems 

Now I Stand

“The ocean sways with thoughts of yesterday, it moves by a blink of an

eye. You said lets go, when I knew it was time for goodbye. You always 

went against the grain, choosing the path of conformity. You felt so alone,

pushing me to join, but I don’t belong, I will be alright over here.”

My 2:00 am

“I’m asking you to leave because, do you know what it’s like

to dream a dream worth re-living? You want it to be real, you tighten your

eyes, shutting the door to reality, not wanting to wake up. You tell

yourself it’s your life, this is you, who you always wanted to become.

Please don’t take it away, I don’t feel pain this way. It’s the only time

those feelings disappear. It doesn’t last long, so please, please don’t take

my 2:00am away.”

Handmade Watercolor Cards 

I’ve been making Encouragement cards, with water colors & oil pastels. The ones below are all watercolor with some acrylic paint as accents. The painting is done for these, still need to add sayings to some of them. The clothes-pins are just for the purpose of taking the photos. Going to make some ‘Thank you’ and ‘Just because’ cards soon.

#1

#2 Front View

#2 Back View

#3 Front View

#3 Back View

#4 Front View

#4 Back View

#5

#6 Front View

#6 Back View

#7

Photography: Comfort behind the lens

When I lived in California I would go to Del Mar beach as much as I could, with my camera in tow. I was taking a photography class so I finally had an excuse for taking so many pictures. Being behind the camera has always made me feel safe, I remember feeling lost, restless, confused and just walking along the beach thinking. The fresh air and the sound of the crashing waves calmed me, I felt a sense of peace near the ocean. I let my camera lead the way, following whatever caught my fancy. I often walked near the train tracks taking pictures from up above the beach. It may sound unusual but the sound of trains/coasters relaxed me, a sense of distraction from my thoughts.

I found beauty, and joy in everyday surroundings. A coaster may not be much to some people, but to others it signifies hope, hope in a new day, a fresh start, hope of meeting new people, hope of a better day when they reach their destinations.

Photography gives me a feeling of hope, focus, contentment. The world around me seems less scary through my lens.

I would spend hours at the beach staring off into the vast ocean in awe of God’s beautiful creation. I loved the reflection of the sun glistening on the warm sand, as the waves crashed over the various colored stones washed ashore. Looking back at these photos it makes me appreciate the small things, the joy i found watching the birds leave their little prints in the sand as they wandered the beach. the simple satisfaction of watching the waves continuously swoosh back and forth for hours.

A gorgeous sunset over the pristine blue ocean. I remember my exact feelings of loneliness, and not knowing my place in the world. Life passing me by, as I stood still. In a moment it all shifted, with a change in perspective, and a press of a round black button the world stopped. Those insecurities disappeared in that moment.

Photography: Multiple Interpretations

  
One of my favorite photographs I took a few years ago when my Canon Rebel XSI was brand new. I like looking back at the photo, and guessing this man’s journey. Was he taking a stroll on the beach contemplating life? Missing a loved one? Was he sad dwelling on past memories? Was he lonely?Was he longing for something or someone? Or maybe he was simply just out taking a walk, enjoying the beautiful day. I love photographing people in their natural state, not posed or staged, just free to be exactly who they are in that moment.

Color me calm

  I loved coloring as a kid, I remember having a Snow White coloring book, Winnie the Pooh, really all the Disney coloring books were my favorites. It was the best feeling, bringing a splash of color to blank pages. I usually colored outside the lines, but who cares when you’re a kid? I miss those carefree days of expressing oneself without the pressure of a deadline, or the need to prove anything. As an adult we get too consumed with trying to pay the bills, always working trying to stay afloat. When there is a chance of rest, it’s either sleeping or zoning in front of a movie. Every person is different, and we all have our unique interests, but everyone is in need of some carefree hobbies that distract from the hustle and bustle. If coloring doesn’t strike your fancy, find something that does. My sister and I occasionally go to my Aunt’s house for girl time, coloring and drinking wine. It’s an activity that doesn’t care your age, it welcomes you at any stage of life, our coloring dates bring laughter, relaxation, and quality time. Last night my best friend, and I went to Michael’s Art Store looking for new coloring books. We made the mistake of asking the sales associate for “adult coloring books” she gave us a funny look, we quickly added grown up coloring books for clarification. She said “oh ok, for a minute there I thought you meant red curtain private section adult coloring books, and we don’t have that.” 😂 It’s easy to forget that the word adult has a couple different meanings, gotta love awkward moments like that! She also said the coloring books have been flying off the shelf, ever since TV talk shows, have been talking about coloring as a great way to let go of stress, and unwind. Interesting that all of the sudden coloring is becoming the latest craze, it’s always been for every age not just for kids! The next time you have a bad day, or negativity is taking hold, grab some crayons/colored pencils and decompress, positive thoughts only!