Your Love Blossoms Me Anew 

Raised to love you, grew to know you, slowly influenced away, and then all at once. Without force, or guilt your love for me has always been honest, and pure. You knew I would take the brush to paint my own lines in life, covering my empty spaces with one mistake after another. Losing sight of the big picture, I painted myself further from you. You loved me just the same.

You were always there, but you never smothered your love upon me, you watched as I blended into the darkness. As I underestimated my self worth, catching the attention of the unworthy. I stood out for being the loud opinonated girl, I should have been known for shouting your praises. Instead of standing up for you, I fell into the shadows of the crowd. I craved the compliments on the outside to distract from the bitter brokenness on the inside. You loved me just the same.

Something always felt missing. I was constantly searching for myself, losing pieces of my heart in the process. When the world takes what it wants leaving my remains, you take me as I am. When all my ears hear are whispers telling me my pieces are forever lost, your presence silences the lies. Your love is enough to make my heart whole again. I will always live with the consequences of the jagged path I carved, but you take those indiscretions and allow them to blossom into something better. You love me just the same.

Your love blossoms me anew. Your arms gently carry me from the enemy. Though I will be continually tempted, you give me the strength to overcome. Though I will continue to stumble, you will guide me through. Without you, I don’t have a purpose. Without your love, I would never strive to be anything better. Without you loving us first, how would we truly know how to love? I fought the truth you always held, my heart is designed to love you, Lord. My love for you will never be the same.

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New Perspective- Photography on Horseback

  
There is beauty all around us, up above our heads, below our rubber soles, right in front of us, we look, but do we truly see? 

   

  
I have been riding my horse lately, it had been almost a year, I had forgotten how much I love it. I’ve been around horses all my life, my mom had me on a horse as a small munchkin.

I’ve always felt a strong connection with horses, feeling safe, yet aware of the risk, trusting this 1000 pound animal with your life. Being on a horse is extremely exhilarating, freeing, captivating, and literally breathtaking. A beautiful escape into a carefree perspective, the everyday doubts, worries, unbearable stresses just fade away into the sand.

  


I’ve been getting my horse acclimated to dogs barking, kids playing, sirens blaring, and to my frequent stops, taking pictures of the beautiful nature. I love the perspective from the back of my four legged 1000 pound companion.

It is necessary in life to find something that refreshes, and recharges you, a hobby that gives you clarity, and new perspectives. Horseback riding and photography are outlets for me to step back, think, and process life’s obstacles. What are your outlets?

All photos are taken by me.

Stay strong and beautiful

  
Just a little encouragement to start your week. I came across this tank top at a store called Basement Marketplace, it inspired me to write. How often have you looked in the mirror, and thought “I feel ugly, I have pimples on my nose, my hair is frizzy, and I have love handles from all that ice cream, and laffy taffy?” Okay, maybe you haven’t thought that exact thing, but I sure did this weekend. Sometimes I wish there were less mirrors in the world, think how much happier everyone would be, if they didn’t have to constantly keep up with outward appearances. I’ve always felt so much happier and content with myself when I don’t look in the mirror, when I’m doing something to make others happy. Being less focused on myself, and focused on more important things.

We all are different shapes, colors, and sizes, but does that make anyone less beautiful than someone else? No, we are all beautifully, and uniquely created if people tell you otherwise, than they aren’t people worth surrounding yourself with. It’s about accepting your differences, and everyone else’s, and seeing the beauty in all of it. When you have a moment doubting yourself or feeling “ugly” try skipping the mirror, go lend a hand, step out of your comfort zone, and you’ll be amazed at how it feels. Knowing it doesn’t matter what you wear or if you have pimples on your nose, nobody notices, because we all have our own insecurities, and struggles. We need to take our negative opinions, and insecure thoughts, putting that energy towards making someone smile or laugh, turning the negative into a positive.

Last week my best friend, and I volunteered at church cleaning the campus for the new school year. She, and I had some last minute hesitations, because we didn’t feel like cleaning. I was feeling bloated, and crampy, and would rather have watched movies on the couch. Once we got there, and were put to work we forgot all about ourselves, our attitudes immediately changed. It was refreshing to be apart of a community with a group of others working to better the environment for kids at school. I was sitting on the ground in the 90 degree weather scrapping gum off the sidewalks, and it didn’t matter that my makeup was melting off my face, my armpits started sweating, and getting smelly. (okay, that part did bother me a bit) It was knowing that we were apart of something so much more than us, helping others regardless if you are comfortable or not.

I was able to meet new people I wouldn’t normally have a chance to meet. We can stay strong, and beautiful the minute we stop thinking of ourselves so much, putting our strengths to use helping others in need, sharing our stories, and encouraging one another. It’s easy to let the negative thoughts, and the insecure moments of body shaming control our every thought, but we are stronger than that. I dare you to try going a day without makeup or without looking in the mirror, and lend a helping hand to someone. Whether it be big or small, for a stranger or a friend, step outside yourself and make a difference. Help remind someone that they too are strong, and beautiful just by being themselves.

Matters of the heart

I never thought I would become so dramatic, but anyone who has been through a breakup or relationship struggle knows the pain. It doesn’t matter if you were the one to decide to end the relationship, it still hurts all the same. I’ve never hated logic so much in my life, my breakup was a logical decision at the time, but all the feelings are still there. We had foundational issues, and we are on extremely different paths, but it doesn’t mean I don’t still love him. I find myself looking at old pictures, and reminiscing, I need to stop! I go through days where I feel strong, confident that I can move forward knowing I made the right decision… But other days I feel broken inside, missing him so much, missing what we had. I pray for the strength to stand in my decision, knowing it’s best for both of us.

Do you ever have that gut feeling, when you know you made the right decision but yet sometimes your weak moments get the best of you? I’m not strong enough to get through this heartache and confusion on my own. Without praying to God, and reading His word everyday, I would still be in a relationship that I knew didn’t have a future. Solely because it was comfortable, and we still love each other. I’m weak. It’s a constant battle of feeling lonely, and trusting God, that His plans are far better than my plans, wants, and desires. I have no idea what His plan is, but I have to trust that all this pain I feel will eventually disappear, but not without me praising Him through this struggle. Wherever you are in your journey, whatever your hurdle may be, know you aren’t alone, and that it will get better.

  

Color me calm

  I loved coloring as a kid, I remember having a Snow White coloring book, Winnie the Pooh, really all the Disney coloring books were my favorites. It was the best feeling, bringing a splash of color to blank pages. I usually colored outside the lines, but who cares when you’re a kid? I miss those carefree days of expressing oneself without the pressure of a deadline, or the need to prove anything. As an adult we get too consumed with trying to pay the bills, always working trying to stay afloat. When there is a chance of rest, it’s either sleeping or zoning in front of a movie. Every person is different, and we all have our unique interests, but everyone is in need of some carefree hobbies that distract from the hustle and bustle. If coloring doesn’t strike your fancy, find something that does. My sister and I occasionally go to my Aunt’s house for girl time, coloring and drinking wine. It’s an activity that doesn’t care your age, it welcomes you at any stage of life, our coloring dates bring laughter, relaxation, and quality time. Last night my best friend, and I went to Michael’s Art Store looking for new coloring books. We made the mistake of asking the sales associate for “adult coloring books” she gave us a funny look, we quickly added grown up coloring books for clarification. She said “oh ok, for a minute there I thought you meant red curtain private section adult coloring books, and we don’t have that.” 😂 It’s easy to forget that the word adult has a couple different meanings, gotta love awkward moments like that! She also said the coloring books have been flying off the shelf, ever since TV talk shows, have been talking about coloring as a great way to let go of stress, and unwind. Interesting that all of the sudden coloring is becoming the latest craze, it’s always been for every age not just for kids! The next time you have a bad day, or negativity is taking hold, grab some crayons/colored pencils and decompress, positive thoughts only!