Matters of the heart

I never thought I would become so dramatic, but anyone who has been through a breakup or relationship struggle knows the pain. It doesn’t matter if you were the one to decide to end the relationship, it still hurts all the same. I’ve never hated logic so much in my life, my breakup was a logical decision at the time, but all the feelings are still there. We had foundational issues, and we are on extremely different paths, but it doesn’t mean I don’t still love him. I find myself looking at old pictures, and reminiscing, I need to stop! I go through days where I feel strong, confident that I can move forward knowing I made the right decision… But other days I feel broken inside, missing him so much, missing what we had. I pray for the strength to stand in my decision, knowing it’s best for both of us.

Do you ever have that gut feeling, when you know you made the right decision but yet sometimes your weak moments get the best of you? I’m not strong enough to get through this heartache and confusion on my own. Without praying to God, and reading His word everyday, I would still be in a relationship that I knew didn’t have a future. Solely because it was comfortable, and we still love each other. I’m weak. It’s a constant battle of feeling lonely, and trusting God, that His plans are far better than my plans, wants, and desires. I have no idea what His plan is, but I have to trust that all this pain I feel will eventually disappear, but not without me praising Him through this struggle. Wherever you are in your journey, whatever your hurdle may be, know you aren’t alone, and that it will get better.

  

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Being grateful

  I was washing my hands in the sink, looking out the kitchen window, I noticed two doves, sitting on the tree branches. I quickly grabbed my camera, and went outside. They looked so peaceful. It was a beautiful, and quiet moment where I just stood there appreciating the stillness. They reminded me that I needed to resume my list of things I’m grateful for. It’s taking some getting used to, have to consciously stop myself when I get too negative. I never thought being grateful would be hard, but it’s getting easier by the minute to worry about all the things going wrong, and forgetting all the good things life has to offer. What would your list of grateful things look like?

6. Soft cotton sheets
7. Hot oatmeal with fresh berries for breakfast
8. Overcast skies, with a soft breeze
9. Two peaceful doves resting on tree branches
10. The snoring of my squishy faced dog sleeping under the covers